ARE YOU SERIOUS????

Lance Armstrong and Ashley Olsen appear to be getting friendly: The unlikely twosome have met up at least twice this week while the former Tour de France champ is in town for the New York Marathon, sources tell PEOPLE.

The pair first shared a special moment on Monday night, getting close at the Rose Bar inside the Gramercy Park Hotel. (The rendezvous was well-documented in New York's newspapers on Wednesday.)

An observer tells PEOPLE: "Lance was hanging with her, definitely. [Olsen] was very flirtatious, and was sitting on his lap."

Another source said Olsen was with a group and "hanging out, having a good time."

Armstrong, 36, and Olsen, 21, reunited again in the wee hours Wednesday at hip restaurant the Waverly Inn. (Armstrong was there earlier that evening with Texas pal Owen Wilson.)

The retired cyclist and fashion designer Tory Burch recently broke up after a year-long relationship. A rep for Armstrong had no comment.

October 31, 2007 Ashley Olsen has a new, older man. The 21-year-old twin showed up to the Rose Bar at the Gramercy Park Hotel Monday night with Tory Burch's ex, Lance Armstrong, 36. Our bar spy said, "They came together with a group of friends. Ashley drank red wine, sat on his lap and they were making out all night. They left together around 2 a.m." Armstrong has been spending more time in town since he bought a home here. Another source said, "He tried to make Tory happy when they were dating by buying a place here, but she couldn't deal with him not actually living in the same city, so they broke up." Olsen's rep didn't return calls.

This is not the news I needed today. I thought Lance and I were meant to be.

Finally....Sinead.

October 28th, 9 PM, Hogg Hall at UT, Sinead O'Connor. This is an artist I have admired since 1990 and 17 years after connecting with her music, I get to see her live. This is the first artist that I can remember identifying real pain in my life with music. This real pain is also what I like to call... "my first broken heart" in high school, thank you Todd. You know that first heartbreak where it hurts to breathe because every breath you take proves you can't live without him (or her).Ok, so I had to be a little dramatic for sentiments sake!!

Sinead's song, "Nothing Compares 2 U" was played over and over again (sorry Mom) and I just knew that somehow love would find its way back if I sat with this song.

According to my friend Dave, he told me not to bother writing about this show, that words would not do her justice, hearing is believing. I do agree with him, however, I just gotta say a few things in hopes that you might be swayed to listen to Sinead.

Theology is the best record that Sinead has put out in years. Whether you follow her or not you should purchase this double CD. I realize that some of you may just be those "Nothing Compares 2 U" sort of fan, but what you are missing out on is so much more. (And remember she didn't even write this song, so you are really missing out if you don't KNOW any of her originals) Many of the songs on this project are based on Scripture and some well known numbers like Jesus Christ Superstar's "I Don't Know How To Love Him" and the old reggae classic "Rivers Of Babylon". The album features recordings with one CD based London sessions and one on Dublin sessions. You get an acoustic version and a full band version..that is genius friends.

There is something about this album that demands our attention...well, there is something about her that demands our attention.

Over the course of a seamless 90-minute show, Sinead and her music are stirring, passionate, violent and inspired. A very simple stage, a five piece band, she walks you through this journey of pure ectasy. You wouldn't dare leave the auditorium to use the restroom, you just wouldn't. At first I thought it was bizarre that Sinead O'Connor kept her eyes on the stage floor (for most of last night's performance actually) She mentioned that fear is the reason for looking down, crazy enough, her voice remains quite unshakeable.

She begins with "The Emperor's New Clothes" and that got the evening started just right. I just love the fiddle, I love how her music feels as if you will walk outside and be in Ireland. Oh how I wish that were true!

She talks about becoming addicted to TV evangelists' while living in Atlanta and she talks about having interviews with the Christian media for her new album Theology. For the most part, she was embraced and they wanted to know about the music and then she mentions the small percentage of the interviewers that did not agree with her belief, "God perhaps doesn't want war." What happens next, is she backs it up with her song "If you Had a Vineyard" using direct scripture from Isaiah. You can't help but get caught up in this, you can't help but see that she really believes in what she writes and sings.

In a world where Gimme gimme more Gimme more (yes, oops I did it again, ms. spears)is a top iTunes seller, it was refreshing to sit in a room for 90 minutes and listen to MUSIC that has meaning and authenticity and pain.....need I say more?

On recent tours (I have read), Sinead would stay away from ealier work but she did not disappoint this time around.. One of my favorite moments was when she stood at the microphone and lifted her voice for "In This Heart." As she was joined in harmony one by one by her bassist, fiddler, and guitarist, the raw harmony and connection pulled a little bit of heaven onto the stage.

The night ended with sweet yet blaring "The Last Day of Our Acquaintance." Her "musical yells" (don't know what else to call them)are filled with so much more than just singing the song...it is from this deep place of being a woman on a journey and overcoming things that every day normal non-rock stars encounter. A woman who has lived in some rather dark places having battled bipolar disorder. A woman who created her own label so that she could record Theology the way SHE wanted to, not some mainstream music producer. "Theology is an attempt to create a place of peace in a time of war," said Sinead. "It is my own personal response to what has taken and is affecting everyone around the world since and including September 11, 2001. I want to be very clear - there is no message. No preaching. Nothing deep and meaningful the artist wants to say, nothing trouble making. I simply wanted to make a beautiful thing, out of something beautiful, which inspires me."

I read this recently.
"I am interested in the cause of rescuing God from religion" Sinead

I like that....and in many ways I think we all need to be rescued.

14 miles...ugh.

Today was my first day back in the running game as far as long distance and trying to keep my Marathon Pace Goal....or MPG. It went ok...14 miles, but the last 3 REALLY hurt. I did run the whole way and my running buddy Carolyn was there, so it was nice to have company.

We did 14 in 2:08. Not bad..9:14 average.

The back of my right leg went numb again around mile 10. That can't be good, back to the Dr. this week.

We get to bring the mileage back to 10 the next few weekends BUT I know one of those is a hill workout.

Good times.

Tomorrow....80 miles in Blanco on the bike with Team Magleen(cha) That cha is Chad...he is coming along for this ride.

I am excited to be on the bike as the weather is PERFECT right now. It is only 63 degrees right now outside!!! Love that.

iSwim

First swim lesson...I was pretty nervous. Actually really nervous.

I show up at 715 and meet my new swim coach...Chrissie Novak.

She is super cool.

She makes you feel like you have been swimming for YEARS and that you just need a little tweaking.

We started with body positioning and working on using my rotation and I learned that freestyle is swimming on your side NOT swimming flat. (I just want you all to know that I am ok with sharing the secrets.) I swallowed A LOT of water going through different drills, I learned about pushing down on the water so that it brings my hips to the surface and keeps my body aligned. I learned about Touch Pull and Roll or TPR In just over an hour of being in the water I learned so much about gliding and being relaxed.

At the very end of my session Chrissie said, "you have good potentional Colleen. You learn quickly, you are strong and you catch on very fast. What is the fastest you have ever swam the mile in a Tri?"

I answer, "34:34"

She said, "We are going to get you under 30 minutes and my goal is that for your Ironman you see 1:15 for the 2.4 miles. You really do have a lot of potential in the water...keep working and try to get at least one other swim day so that you are swimming 3 times per week."

I left feeling like iSwim. Cause I do.

Swimming lessons

Being your best is not so much about overcoming the barriers other people place in front of you as it is about overcoming the barriers we place in front of ourselves. It has nothing to do with how many times you win or lose. It has no relation to where you finish in a race or whether you break world records. But it does have everything to do with having the vision to dream, the courage to recover from adversity and the determination never to be shifted from your goals.

How about that friends? In the world of triathlon, swimming has always been the place where I just don't know what the hell I am doing. Sure, I finish, and I finish average but my race always begins when I get OUT of the water. I find myself saying, "Colleen, you are going to the Olympics!!"(mind you, moving at a very slow pace). I have decided to change that...what I want is to concentrate on preparing to swim my race and let the other swimmers think about me, not me about them.

For sure...uh huh. uh huh.

So you know what? The water is my friend.....I won't fight with water, just share the same spirit as the water. You know the body does what the mind prefers. And up until this point I have preferred to not THINK about the water. Well, that all changes with TONIGHT. Stay tuned for more updates on what I like to call 8 weeks of swimming to an Olympic Gold Medal. Bottom line is this, in training everyone focuses on 90% physical and 10% mental, but in the races its 90% mental. I believe with a little bit of help on the physical, I can conquer the mental block that is free-style for 2.4 miles in the Ironman.

Something to Believe In...

I really really love Aqualung. They are a band from the UK that I got to see during South by Southwest, and I just adore the lead singer, Matt Hales, and his songwriting. I was listening to them on my iPod at work today and the song "Something to Believe In" came on, I stopped and thought......I need a little bit of that right now. It seems sometimes my life goes in a circle and I want to not be on repeat anymore. I so desperately want to reach for a hand to hold right now. I have seen a lot of pain in the last couple of months. Not all personal pain, but I have seen friends go through things that they just shouldn't have to go through. In that I tend to take on that hurt and I hurt for them....and find my emotions all over the damn place!!

Do you ever wonder if this world values truth anymore? Do you doubt the way you see yourselves and others when you really have no reason? Do you think that no matter how you try, you never find the one you want? Gosh, that would suck. I am longing for relationship.....and more importantly relationship with my Dad. I have realized I can't really try in a relationship until I try to fix what has been broken. I opened up my hands this weekend and found they were empty and it made me sad.


"Something To Believe In"

You talk too much.
Maybe that's your way
Of breaking up the silence
That fills you up.
But it doesn't sound the same
When no one's really listening

We stumble into our lives:
Reach for a hand to hold.
And any wonder
We need to find
A certain something, certain.

Turn out the light
And what are you left with?
Open up my hands
And find out they're empty.
Press my face to the ground
I've gotta find a reason.
Just scratching around
For something to believe in:
Something to believe in.

You have too much.
You're spending all your time
Collecting and discovering
It's not enough.
And no matter how you try,
You never find the one you want.

Fear.

Wrote this a few months back.....actually it was around April. I have Richard to thank for this one.



Well I was once bound and determined,
But now that's been replaced by fear in being bound
By your determination to keep me here.

I've been your friend, lover, sister
Can you tell me what else is left?
And I've euphemized shouts with whispers til it's worried me to death.

And I've tried hard enough
Don't you think I've tried hard enough?

If I were standing at the crossroads and had to choose your life or mine,
If I chose my own existence would you still label it a crime?
When you can understand my pleading maybe I can tolerate your cries.
But you will never see these fears glisten wet in my eyes.

And these ties that bind my soul no, they're not to me at all.
I'm tired of lying in this position but I can't recover from this fall.
You tell me if I stay or if I go freedom's not an option that you give.
Well your infirmity is justifiable, it's your sickness I can't forgive.

And haven't I tried hard enough?
Don't you think I've tried hard enough?
Now I stand before my jury.
Yes I've been tried hard enough.

I should come with a warning.

I have disappeared, I am sorry.

I am back now.....just some lyrics for a song. I really should come with a warning.



Wait a minute mister,
I think it might be best,
Cause the way you look sure seems to suggest the slightest bit of interest,
I should come with a warning.

See the majority of my life I've been in rare form,
You know a couple of steps below the norm.
But I'd empty the pockets of the jeans I've worn tonight,
If you'll forget yourself until the morning.

Cause I'm thinking I could kiss you the warmest of all your breathing days.
You don't have to kiss me back.
I just need to be sure I remember the way,
It could make me comfortable.

See I haven't slept for going on five hundred years
And hide me 'neath the shade of the hand of fear,
And don't be confused the way I look is merely
A nack for finding dark corners.

Ask my friends cause they all think they know,
Least it seemed from the last letter that he wrote,
That I just can't calm down this hot-blooded music in my throat.
And in comparison it made him boring.

Still I'm thinking I could love you,
The sweetest of all your breathing days,
You don't have to give it back.
I just need to be sure I remember the way,
It could make me comfortable.

So wait a minute mister,
I think it might be best,
Cause the way you look sure seems to suggest
The slightest bit of interest.

I should come with a warning.

All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Triathlons.

So true, so true. That is why I love this sport to no end.....I mean really love it. Yesterday's race was tough, really tough. Here is the recap.

I knew that I had backed off of training so after a major panic on Saturday (thanks Stephanie for talking me down) I had some good time to myself that evening (and listened to the new Annie Lennox and some Radiohead to calm me). I got up on Sunday morning and told myself to just enjoy each moment, that TODAY might not be about a personal best. And crazy enough, I listened to myself.

I began the swim and just relaxed thinking about finishing each stroke, and I felt strong. I finished the swim in 46 minutes, which is pretty consistent. I was happy to finish, now OFF to the bike!!

I felt really strong on the bike and decided I was going to really push myself keeping cadence high. This was a tough course with some good rollers and a few larger climbs. I thought by my bike computer I had come in under 3 hours.....the results say 3:04, averaging 18.2 mph. Still happy with that regardless. I am going to break 3 hours.....next time! Just gotta get a little stronger on those hills!

Now comes the run....I hop off my bike and my watch says 3:47....so I am thinking wow...if I could just pull out a 2 hour 1/2 marathon, I could be close to six hours and PR. So, I took off, watching my heart rate and keeping it low. This run course? The toughest thing I have ever run. It was rolling hill after rolling hill and by mile 3 a nerve in the back of my right leg was throbbing and my feet were hurting. My mental game started to go downhill. The run course is two loops and before you enter the second loop you go directly past the finish line. I actually considered walking right off the course and not doing the second loop. I knew that I was not in any kind of pain where I was going to hurt myself, and I needed to finish this. I turned the corner and saw a girl from my core class on Mon/Wed. She was struggling as well, this was her first Half Iron. We began to talk and decided that we would stick together during the second loop and see eachother through this. (Holly is her name)

So we trudged on, making small goals like...."ok, we are going to run to that sign and then decide what to do." AND "we are going to run this entire hill and then recover and walk at the top" It was awesome, I had made a new friend and we were determined to see one another through all of this. And we talked and chatted it up like two women can do that the last 6.5 miles started to fly by. Holly.....you rock! Way to go on your first Half Ironman.

What I didn't tell you is that when Holly and I decided to run together, I knew that any time goal was done and before this I felt myself looking down at my time every few minutes. So, I hit STOP on my watch. By far the most mature thing I have ever done racing. I didn't want to be tied to it anymore, and I just wanted to finish. I put the watch away and moved through the course trying to stay positive.

My run time?......2:34. Yes, not good for me. It's ok, it wasn't my day to shine that way!

So how does all this apply to the title of this post?

From Triathlons I know that each race is going to be different much like each day. We have the choice to approach it positively! (I know this is easier said than done.)

From Triathlons I know that sometimes it is about helping others and seeing them through the finish line. Quite often we get focused on self in this sport because it is so individual. But it felt so good to set aside my agenda and help someone (and in turn she helped me) on the journey.

From Triathlons I know that just finishing makes me a winner.

From Triathlons I know that discipline is something we need in life! But don't forget to turn off the watch and slow down and take in air and breath. I am so glad that I did.

From Triathlons I know that I am capable of so much more than I often give myself credit. I think this is a lesson I will learn over and over.

From Triathlons I know that it is really great when the announcer is a good friend, because it is so fun to hear your name on the big speakers! (had to put that in there, thanks Adam!!!)

I am thankful. I am thankful for the good friends I have met in this sport (Nate, please don't retire). I am thankful for the people that showed up yesterday to cheer me on.....Shelley, Thiele, Amber R., Ellen, the T3 folks, Lisa O., Maggie (at the finish, showed me the beer tent....good lady). thank you NOAH for being at the Finish Line and offering me the last bite of your burrito and some Vitamin Water. (happy now Noah??) I am thankful for good health, please don't take it for granted. One year and counting baby!!!

Got to do a bit of a shout out for my girl Maggie.....I am so glad that I met you in Austin and got to share this experience with you! I am excited for Ironman CDA and that adventure. We are going to rock the course as only Team Magleen can! It was a blessing in disguise when I found a riding buddy and my partner in crime for Couples Triathlon. Your dedication and athleticism are truly amazing (Third place in her age group yesterday....5:36...wow) BUT what I love most is the way you come alongside and support. You allow me to just BE....for me to be okay with who I am, whatever it is that I am doing, in any given moment. You teach me to be exuberant, wild, rich, deep, and rare! You are a precious friend and irreplaceable!

SO....live full, rich and rare....and revel in ordinary and extraordinary moments....if you asked me what I came into this world to do, I will tell you. I CAME TO LIVE OUT LOUD!!!

(Longhorn Triathlon was my final race of the season....gonna recover a bit now and then get ready for Austin Marathon.)

Team Magleen at Couples Triathlon earlier in the season!

Maggie and I after finishing Longhorn Tri...love it!! (why are these two cute girls SINGLE??)

You just gotta laugh...it makes it all better! By the way Mags....I got my tickets...to your gun show...GOOD LORD!!

You Scream, I Scream....

We all scream for Ice Cream!!!

So, on my lunch I went to this little cafe my friend Vanessa showed me a few weeks ago that serves....VEGAN ICE CREAM.

So...that stays within my boundaries of no dairy. And let me tell you, it is Delish. You really can't tell the difference.

As I sat outside and ate my small bowl in the Texas heat, it reminded me of a song. (that I love)

Your love is better than ice cream
Better than anything else that I’ve tried
And your love is better than ice cream
Everyone here know how to fight

And it’s a long way down
It’s a long way down
It’s a long way down to the place
Where we started from

Your love is better than chocolate
Better than anything else that I’ve tried
Oh love is better than chocolate
Everyone here knows how to cry

It’s a long way down
It’s a long way down
It’s a long way down to the place
Where we started from...

I think I am going to cover this tune......is it possible to say Your Love is Better than ICE CREAM????

we shall see.

Picture Pages!!

Michelle & I at the Victory Party!!

Disney Tri ladies all dressed up for the Victory Party!

Me and Meghan...friend and cancer survivor!

my old roomie...miss her

my girls...Robin, Heidi & Andrea

Central Texas Disney Tri Finishers.....Go Team!!!

my niece and nephews latest picture!!

Fortune...and this weekend

Ok so here was my fortune cookie at lunch. (I only took one this time Kat)

"Keep your ideas flexible, and don't ignore details"

Does this have to do with this weekend? I am racing another Half Ironman this weekend here in Austin. Don't know how this one is going to go. I had a lot of old friends force me into having wine & beer in the last few weeks. (Thanks Florida) Normally I would say.....I am going to put a HURT on. But for this weekend, I would just like to cross the Finish Line. Look for my full race report on Sunday evening or Monday!!

Turn my grief to grace

Come what may
I wont fade away
But I know I might change

Nothing comes easily
Fill this empty space
Nothing is like it was
Turn my grief to grace


These lyrics are from Kate Havnevik's song Grace. I love those words because they are what my last year was about for me....read on.

I got to see a lot of good people in Orlando last week. It was really really amazing. Some of you know, some of you don’t know. Last year was hard. Especially the last half of the year. I had some real pain in my life that I had not experienced EVER. And life got hazy. Relationships got hazy. Faith was hazy. God was super unclear to me. I questioned it all and doubted it all. Then the opportunity to move came along and I grabbed it. I wanted a change of scenery to wrestle through a lot of personal stuff, to heal a broken heart and to experience a new place. I know that some thought I was running but I know this move was Divine intervention in my life. I had already isolated myself enough (yes, my fault) in Orlando and because of the way I process things, I needed to go somewhere I didn’t question being judged. So, God took me to Austin. (I didn't seek this job out, it found me)

Some might say I got a new start. I don't really believe in new starts, that means you would constantly live in regret. It was a time for me to sit and allow grace to enter in. I could make no more excuses for my pain or grief at this point, and I so desperately wanted to heal. But I knew only in time...or at least I hoped. I see now that time is no longer a barrier.

In Orlando I sat with people that I was afraid friendships had been destroyed. I sat with people that prayed for me a year ago and knew they couldn’t force me into faith. How great it is to just be around and receive the love when you had anticipated something quite the opposite.

So I look back to a year ago and I can see and still feel the disappointment. It is not a disappointment that drives me to a bottle of Merlot and makes me want to curl up in my bed for an afternoon and shut the world out. It is a disappointment of experience. Seeing the journey from mistakes made through a lot of pain, into the doubt, learning to love myself, loving God, loving family. It is watching how God moved in me through the disappointment and knew I would return. Imagine the freedom of jumping one year ahead and seeing God when I didn’t think I ever would again!! (well that and enjoying a few glasses of Merlot and knowing it is not to numb the pain!!)

I have read a lot this past year. Many random, random things. (I am always up for suggestions too!!) There are two authors that have spoken the most into my life. Madeleine L’Engle and C.S. Lewis. So, I revisted a lot their books.

This quote sits in front of me at work.

"There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to be sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully around with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket-safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.....The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and pertrubations of love, is Hell. To love is to suffer. To journey through love is to journey thru sadness." C.S. Lewis

I make no apologies for loving and then in turn, hurting, because thankfully...that is when God shows up. We are given the gift of being free to respond in our own way, creatively or destructively. I have realized that in my freedom, God has written the story.

Thanks to friends in Orlando that supported me when I couldn't accept it or realize it. I look forward to more visits your way.

"Important things are inevitable cliché."

My friend Scotty (wicked guitar player, smart music choices, all around nice guy) back in Orlando mentioned the book by Chuck Klosterman Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto. I decided to pick it up and have not been able to put it down. It is so delicious and fun at the same time. This quote.....one of my favorites thus far.

"Whenever I meet dynamic, nonretarded Americans, I notice that they all seem to share a single unifying characteristic: the inability to experience the kind of mind-blowing, transcendent romantic relationship they perceive to be a normal part of living. And someone needs to take the fall for this. So instead of blaming no one (which is kind of cowardly) or blaming everyone (which is kind of meaningless), I'm going to blame John Cusack."

I read this book a few years back on 80s pop culture and I remember when the author made a reference that most ladies from the 80s are in love with Mr. Cusack. (I mean, I have a t-shirt that says Mrs. Cusack.....is that weird?) So why not blame it on John. that makes total sense.

Pick up this book. It is really good.

Being Alive....

Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. ~Harold Whitman

Hmmm…..I like this. Maggie sent it to me. (if you don't know her, you should.)
How much of a difference could each single life made if we chose to sit in every single moment and really live? How would our quality of life change? Probably not a very difficult question to answer.

I have recently started to question this with my own job. I love doing the not-for-profit thing. I believe in helping people and cancer has affected my family in so many ways...it feels great to give back. But does it make me come alive? I honestly can’t say yes to that question. Don't get me wrong...I am happy....but alive? That is the dilemma.

This new job (that I haven't found yet) must include traveling to really great places, because NEW experiences/places.... make me come alive. Being in different cultures, meeting new people....makes me come alive. A friend mentioned I should have my own show on the Travel channel where I train & sing at every location. Or maybe I could review some really good/unknown bands in far off distant places? Anyone have any connections out there?

So I need a traveling-running-biking-swimming-music-concert watching-job!!!!

help.

some time off...I needed that.

I know I have not blogged in quite some time....I took a team to the Disney Triathlon and then spent some really good time with friends from Orlando....hanging out, catching up, coffee, wine, tea, sushi....it was really great to see people and to feel like God has moved some internal reconciliation into my life. I have much to say but I am in the airport and about to board a plane....so, later....I will write on all that I took in this past week!