Sunday, November 13, 2011

Dear Baby L

It's 2 am which seems to be a normal wake up time for me currently. My insomnia is off the charts and I struggle all the time with wanting to have conversations with our little girl inside of me. We found out the news at 19 weeks pregnant, she has made it to week 22, our Dr. was shocked the other day that her heart was still beating. I came home and had a small smile in my heart thinking, could she already know the woman that are before her and how she is already a fighter that would live up to blood in her. Writing has always been therapeutic for me. So when my tears wake me up, here is what I would tell her.

Dear Baby Girl L,

Your middle name would be after 2 woman that affected my life. You would have 2 middle names, Phoebe Ann. This was decided before Sam and I even knew we were expecting. As we discussed first names, the middle name was set. Phoebe is the name of your great-grandmother. She will greet you in heaven, please tell her I said hello and I that I miss her. She was barely 5 ft tall, but was a ball of fire and loved life. She didn't have over a middle school education but was one of the smartest women I know. Her laughter was infectious and I have such great memories of sitting next to her in church during summer visits and can still hear her voice sing out a hymn. She loved unconditionally and fearlessly. I wanted you to have a piece of her name. The other name Ann, is my Mom's, your grandmother's middle name. My mom also a fighter. Had a very difficult childhood and even in that never gave up on life and love. She gave me my love of music, and the arts. She is why I LOVE the Sound of Music and thought I was Maria. She also instilled a high level of competitiveness inside of me, and that transferred over into my love of sports. Both of these women also lived out an extreme life of Faith in front of me. This is the most important thing they gave me especially right now when I think of how this could turn out for your Dad and I. I have Faith that all things work for good little one. we love you.


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