so different second time around

I am sitting at home and just finished packing for Ironman Arizona. Just a few last minute things to throw in my suitcase. Crazy but I can't stop thinking about this weekend and how different it all is. Don't get me wrong, I didn't expect to replicate the first Ironman experience as that 140.6 miles was about me and doing something for myself that I wanted to conquer. I also went and raced with a group of first-time friends. Having Noah and Ed last year in CdA was by all means....some serious hilarity! This time I carry my friend Des with me across the Finish Line, and not in a "sad, she needs my help" kind of way. I just take her with me.

I think about her contacting me last November to sign up with her for 2009. We would celebrate her 40th birthday and her 2 year cancerversary Then January, I got the call. The cancer has returned. I will be getting a stem cell transplant at some point along with more treatment. She didn't say it at that point, but I knew, No Ironman for Des this year. My first thought to be honest, was to totally bail on the race as well. But I couldn't. I wanted to finish what WE had started. You see, Desiree is this special friend and complete bad-ass all in the same sentence. When I met her a few years ago, we simply connected and the memories I have with her up to this point, remain intact. Bike rides, coffee, glasses of wine, walks, runs, camping, one early trip to Houston and one late drive back on the same day. We even share those moments of silence where we simply don't need to say anything because sometimes we all just need a friend that let's us be quiet about it all.

I think Desiree and I have had this unspoken rule that I won't bring up her cancer unless she does. I mean, the cancer is not truly who she is. She is a wife, mother of 3 amazing kids, creative thinker, has great taste in music, has taught me forgiveness and grace...and oh yeah a Boston Marathon Qualifier, Half Ironman Finisher....and now, 2x cancer survivor. Cancer has never changed the core of who she is, one of the kindest people I have ever met. Always looking out for others before herself and walks through life with total humility. (by the way, she will KILL me for publicly writing this) She doesn't know it but those early morning walks we had a handful of times during the last couple of months really meant so much to me. She thought it was getting in the way of my training, but actually it slowed me down. It caused me to live in the moment, and i need that pull back. I am turbo, to the max and those walks with Des were therapeutic and honest.

I guess maybe this post has gotten completely off track from what I intended, or maybe not. About one month ago, Des showed up at the LIVESTRONG Challenge in Austin to run the 5k. This would be the first time she had run any kind of distance post-treatment. As I waited at the Finish Line for her, I was hoping I had not missed her in the Survivor Shoot. And then I saw her. I saw her running towards me and will never forget that moment when she grabbed me at the Finish Line and well, we had a total girly, emotional moment full of tears. It was more than worth it. We both laugh how we have told so many about it, but honestly you really had to be there. And I guess you have had to be along for the journey. The picture below is from the Finish Line. I was so glad someone caught that moment.


I guess here is how it all wraps up into how this is different this time. November 22 is about finishing 140.6 for myself and Des. (she wouldn't let me do it for just her) And when it gets tough, I will channel that hug at the Finish Line, and know I can move through just about anything.

I carry my dear friend Des with me in total strength and Des, if you read all the way to the bottom.....when you are ready, I will be back to take on an Ironman WITH YOU. Your day will come, I completely believe that.

2380.

So I woke up and got the email that my Bib # had been assigned for Ironman AZ on November 22. Yes, friends it's almost over and so the constant chatter and obsession is as well. Hang in there with me for a few more weeks. My Bib # is 2380...I instantly thought...well, Michael Jordan was a childhood hero, in fact, I found my first hat I ever owned in a box recently, and it was a Chicago Bulls cap...so 23 is MJ's number and then 80...well, who can resist a good 80s jam? not me!! In fact the 80s accompanied me through a few bike trainer sessions and so 2380 seems fitting to me.

All day my brain has been reeling over Sunday, November 22. I have had many folks ask me...are you ready? are you excited? how do you feel? what time do you think you will do it in? The questions are a bit much right now, because in the taper you have too much time to think. So here are those answers...Colleen style.

Are you ready? Well, I sure hope so friends. I mean, if I'm not, we will see on that day. I know my work travel has been insane, but I have stayed as true to my schedule as possible. There were many long runs done on tread mills and many long bikes done on cheezy hotel bikes in workout rooms...all for the love of this damn sport. i feel ready, but i also have fears that are different from my first Ironman last year. There is more pressure. Will I PR? Will I do my nutrition as perfectly as I did one year ago? Will my mental toughness take over again? Who the hell knows...I am going to approach that day with as little expectations as possible. I am racing this one for me and my friend Desiree who can't join me for this Ironman (I believe she will have her day at some point, but cancer returned for a second time and so she is fighting a much harder fight)

Are you excited? Um, honestly....no, not right now. I am trying to relax after some stressful work weekends and I am trying to get my bike and bike bag ready for Tri Bike Transport. I am not excited for 140.6 miles of pain...however, next week will be a different answer I hope.

How do you feel? I feel tired but I also feel strong. I had one of best long runs this past weekend and I desperately needed that. I ran 5 miles before the Run for the Water started. Then as I got to the 10 miler that goes through some hilly terrain, I thought...ok, 1 hour 30 minutes is what I would love to see. I clocked in at 1:29:57 folks! What was even better is as I checked my results..I ran a 9:14 first half and an 8:46 second half. My run this season has been different for me with my stress fracture injuries. Could it be though that I am peaking at just the right time? i will choose to say YES! I have not had very many long runs but I think I have had just enought that 26.2 will be there on November 22. Which is fine, that's when I need the leg strength to show up.

What time do you think you will do it in? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! you thought I was going to answer that one? nope. I won't. i know I can and will finish this race....or I will come close to die trying. I will race without my watch (again) and trust by body and how I feel during the day.

2380 folks. November 22, 2009. 140.6 miles. Bring it!

As we go, as as we go.....

Well, time has passed yet again and rather than another apology I will tell you all what is coming up for the next few, five weeks or so. Tomorrow I head to go race this beast...

That's right a friendly little 1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike and then a 13.1 mile run...you know, a regular day at the office. huh? ok, not really, but this is just a training race for me leading up to Ironman Arizona in 2 stinkin' months. That's right, where has the time gone. This is a race to really get the nutrition right, hammer out those miles and have fun while doing it. I also am racing where my folks live, which will be fun. It's kinda like a hometown crowd, sort of. I didn't grow up there, but at least my folks can see why I love this crazy sport of Triathlon....they've never seen me participate....er, race...in one of these.

After that I will return to good old Austin, TX and get myself ready for Austin City Limits, where I will work in a 90 mile ride and long run plus going to see some really great music. This will be my first year without my partner in crime, Stephanie, as we partied it up at the last few ACLs. Alas, she is getting ready for wife-dom and planning a wedding next month, so she is not able to rock her face off with me this year. Hopefully, it can return another year. Sam will be joining me this year and so it will be fun to have a weekend with him.

Then some work trips come my way, Chicago, NYC, LIVESTRONG Challenge in Austin. All good things to wrap up a really incredible year at LIVESTRONG. I love this next month as it has two of my favorite marathons with the Team and our hometown Challenge event. It's not too late to sign up! www.livestrongchallenge.org

One of the best parts of the last few weeks is I was able to sing at Gateway Church. I have really missed singing in the busyness of the season, so it was great to re-connect with people at church and get some time using my gift of singing. I am back in a few weeks....and then will probably not be back until December. gotta find a way to sing more. maybe that's a goal for 2010.

I hope to maybe take some time on this blog to let you all know what I am learning about myself in the midst of some big and small changes.

as always....no promises on that happening.

Shasheen Kudasai!!!

The translation above is Picture Please!! (a little of my Japanese for you) Here are some lovely pictures from the travels of the last few weeks.

me and my niece phoebe...shade shopping
I get out of car and my sister and I dressed exactly alike
trouble
me and Jan, the bride. great weekend

Hood to Coast- take 2!

I got back last night from Portland and a really amazing weekend at the Hood to Coast event. This was the second time Team LIVESTRONG took on this 197 mile relay. To read more about the Team experience, you can go to the LIVESTRONG blog Mr. Tom Whiteside, a new LIVESTRONG employee wrote a wonderful blog on this great experience. I think the best way to do this event is to NOT know those who are going to be in your van. It's the second year we have done that and its worked out beautifully both years! I mean, do you really have 11 other friends you could spend 17+ hours with while running across Oregon and then add in sleep deprivation? In fact, we witnessed some teams that had some not so nice confrontations. not with Team LIVESTRONG, it's complete love and friendly competition.

Speaking of competition...the numbers don't lie, so rather than you searching on the site, I will just post for you all to see.

Livestrong1 27:29:14
Livestrong2 28:42:01
Livestrong3 29:43:59

yes, you guessed it. I was on LIVESTRONG 1. And we totally rocked it. Ok, the other 11 folks rocked it. I showed up with a stress fracture and muddled my way through 14 miles. But we still won with 11.5 runners.

Next up...Austin Triathlon this coming weekend.

Stay tuned for that....

I am finally getting a few moments to myself in Peet's Coffee in Portland to sit down and catch you all up on life in Austin and all around the US. I wish I had downloaded some pictures from my camera to post here, but maybe next month as we all know I am just not consistent right now in this blogging world. I am going to be posting a job description later for a full time assistant. Basically you will follow me around and will write down my thoughts and random musings and then come back and hit the blog for me. I mean...all 6 of my followers miss me, horribly.

Here is the update on all things Wilson.

The injury. I won't lie, it's frustrating and I am listening to my Dr. I mean who invented stress fractures? How is it that this little tiny break causes such an annoyance in my foot. Plus, you know me...go big or go home right? I manage to get a stress fracture in the ONE place on the foot where there is minimal blood flow which means healing takes FOREVER. I stayed in le boot for the 5 weeks as the Dr. said, went back and he said try some small runs, no longer than 3 miles, and work in the elliptical machine. I did that. It hurts again. I am back at the Dr. next week for some more x-rays to see if this IM is even possible. I might go and swim, bike my little heart out and hop on one leg for 26.2 miles. Stay tuned for that.

Training despite the injury. I could most certainly swim 2.4 tomorrow. I could bike 112 no problem as my cycling miles are up. I have had a small lapse here in August with traveling but September will be a huge month for me as I am HOME IN AUSTIN FOR 26 CONSECUTIVE DAYS. (Sam won't know what to do) It's the run that I am scared about the most. Aqua jogging for 2 hours, 45 minutes has been the longest yet and THANK GOD for Barton Springs or I wouldn't have all those folks to people watch and soak up the senseless gossip. If I choose to race AZ, it will be an interesting day, which is sad because I want another amazing day like in Idaho, so I am not sure what to do. Stay tuned for that.

Travels I have had many. This year due to my job promotion I have gone to all 4 LIVESTRONG Challenges. It has been crazy busy and amazing. We just finished up the 3rd city in the Series, Philadephia. Before that weekend though I got to see my dear friend, Janette get married to Joe Obermueller. They were married in Gettysburg, PA and it was an amazing weekend of seeing some folks I really love from Orlando, (vernon and connie rainwater, todd and beki herrbach, john and debbie blahnik, stephen and leanna thomas....love those folks) and then catch up with some friends of Jan's in CA (shout out to my roomie, Dorothy) The wedding festivites kicked off with the J&J Big Day 5k, an unofficial/official 5k on the battlefields of Gettysburg. To date, my favorite 5k of all times. Jan's wedding was perfect and celebratory and her parents really put on a great festive party. Oh, and I realized I want a lake house. (Sam, see what you can work out) I will post pictures of that at some point. no promises. stay tuned for that.

After Gettysburg, it was FAMILY TIME!!! I headed down to Virginia and got in some snuggles with my sister's 3 kiddos. The time went by quickly, but I just love it when I get to head to VA and see them. I absolutely dig being an Aunt.

Before Philly I made a brief stop at the Satola household. This family rocks as they helped with the cost of my trip by allowing me to use an extra car they had for the week AND I crashed at their house the night before I headed to Philly for the Challenge. THANK AGAIN Satola's....you rock. Brian works for the Ulman Cancer Fund in Baltimore, MD. They are doing a Half IM next year called Half Full Tri. Stay tuned for that.

Philly Challenge was such a great weekend. 6500 participants, raising $3.4 million dollars. If you don't know Team Fatty, please go here. Getting to meet Elden Nelson, seeing him talk about the recent passing of his wife but also witnessing the way this man has engaged THOUSANDS of people with one voice and one blog is pretty darn amazing. He said it best when he spoke at our dinner on Saturday night...."do what you love and then make a difference with that." I can't wait to see him again in Austin for the Challenge as Team Fatty goes after raising $1 million dollars over 4 LIVESTRONG Challenges this year. The other plus was I got to meet Ethan Zohn of Survivor Africa (the winner of the Million in fact) as he was our Keynote Speaker at the dinner. I don't know if you know this. I love Survivor and I really liked Ethan when he was on Survivor.

Now, I am in Portland for Hood to Coast....197 miles...the mother of all relays. Don't ask me if I am running until AFTER this weekend. I am not going to answer that now...stay tuned for that. Team LIVESTRONG has 3 teams and we have raised $50k with this event. It's our second year back and we are going to ROCK THIS.

As much as I am bed sick and ready to be back in my own digs for some time....I truly cannot complain. I am living a great life. I get to go all over, meet amazing people in the fight on cancer and watch the grassroots movement of LIVESTRONG grow. In three words....my job rocks.

I am blessed and hope I don't lose sight of that when things get difficult or when it is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I promise I will post pictures at some point in the next year.....stay tuned for that.

Philadelphia

So the last time I blogged I was in San Jose for the Challenge...now I am in Philadelphia and it is the middle of August. Where does the time go? How come I can't seem to sit down for 30 minutes every now and again to write on this thing? I have had so many good adventures since last time I wrote....I hope to update all of this in the next week...you know in between Philadelphia and Portland and....oh wait, time to go to the LIVESTRONG Village....hopefully I will be back this afternoon???